Are you dreading a possible debate over politics on Thanksgiving? TV personality Alexander Heffner, who specializes in food and politics, knows the feeling. He's shared salmon burgers with Republican Sen. Lisa Murkowski in Alaska, and eaten crab cakes with Democratic Sen. Raphael Warnock in Georgia while dissecting policies.
As Turkey Day quickly approaches, the host of "Breaking Bread with Alexander" on Bloomberg TV and"The Open Mind"on PBS, Heffner, 35, undoubtedly will chat about the nation's state of affairs while passing the gravy. He shares with USA TODAY some tips on how to move deftly through the topic so no one throws cranberries and potatoes (or stuffing) at each other.
Question: You talk about deep topics over a hearty meal for a living. What would be the best, and perhaps unavoidable way to bring up politics during Thanksgiving?
Heffner: As long as you are civil—and that means genuinely listening even when you disagree—it really shouldn’t be a problem to share with family members for whom you voted and why.
Humanize it: How has this election impacted you? How do you hope the new administration will help you? Democrats and Republicans, by their very definitions, both believe in representative government. The disagreements are more often about the means of solving a problem than the ends of agreeing on what the problem is. Your“crazy uncle” generally wants clean drinking water and breathable air, too. And there’s nothing like food and music to try to bring peace and contentedness.
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How hard is it to find that happy medium during the conversation and when do you know to move the discussion along?
Make sure everybody is well-fed, with all your favorite sides well-stocked (sweet potatoes with and without marshmallows, stuffing inside and outside the bird),and NOT waiting hours for their beloved turkey, cranberries, and green bean casserole.
My elementaryschool librarian had an admonition: “Cool. Calm. Collected.” She would say it and repeat it three times softly. Historically, Americans have been able to reset our outlook after elections and look toward the future constructively. Move forward in this spirit, and you may confound your own stereotypes.
A former Speaker of the House, Tip O’Neill, a Democrat, liked to say “All politics is local” and he demonstrated his belief working with Republican President Reagan. Loving thy neighbors and being your brother’s keeper are futile words if you don’t practice them, starting with your own family.
OpinionThat election conversation you're dreading may be an act of love this Thanksgiving
What's the best conversation you’ve recently had with a politician that resembles a Thanksgiving dinner and politics discussion? How did the discussion start? Where did it go and how did it end?
Throughout both seasons of the series this happened. It’s hard to pick the best because they all resembled that in my mind. Maybe Senator (soon to be Majority Leader John) Thune of South Dakota started by discussing basketball and his dad’s service in WWII, evolving to understand why the GOP has turned isolationist and leaving him genuinely considering the disproportionate sacrifices of the volunteer military since Vietnam.
Anytime you can stop a politician in their tracks and get them to explain how to end the “mean-spiritedness” of politics (in Thune’s words), it’s a rare win. In the interview, I mention that when the Democratic and Republican caucus leadership show up for the C-SPAN cameras these days, invariably it feels like they’re in different worlds. But…Thunesaid if we brought fresh pizzas and ice cream on the Senate floor more often, there would be a happier compromise.
And, can Thanksgiving dinner also be used as a time for healing or a moment of realization?
It can be, for sure. In my interviews with New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker and North Dakota Gov. Doug (soon to be Interior Secretary) Burgum, the interviews emotionally culminated in tears, because the authenticity of the exchanges elicited real empathy and vulnerability. Sen. Booker when talking about a mom’s loss of her son to gun violence in his community and Burgum when talking about the generations of families that were in business with his grandad’s grain elevator.
So if you get comfortable over Thanksgiving, maybe over pumpkin pie and a little booze, there’s no reason we can’t open up to each other. If I did it with the electeds, we can do it with our own families. We just have to show patience and thoughtfulness.
Any tips on what else to talk about at the Thanksgiving dinner table?
Kids! Sports, specifically touchdown passes! Netflix series! American history! Anything!
For what it's worth if you could break bread with a party of five and bring four current politicians to the table for a conversation and some good food, who would they be?
(Vice President ) Harris, (Minnesota Gov. Tim) Walz, (President-elect Donald) Trump and (Vice President-elect JD) Vance. I'd jump at the opportunity to break bread with the two presidential ticketsAFTERthe flares of the election have calmed.
Why?
Because it would be a show of national solidarity and a demonstration of their ability to reset and work together. Politics is about personal and partisan ego in the heat of campaigns, but when governing it can also be about modeling deliberative compromise and delivering sound policies for people.
I'd also love to bring together four of my previous "Breaking Bread" guests who share in this mission. Senators Murkowski, Mark Kelly (D-Ariz.), Shelly Capito (R-W. Va), and Booker come to mind. I believe together, we could have a fun meal and arrive at some greater legislative harmony and enduring bipartisan solutions.
